Rihanna – Pour It Up

We’ve been bumping this jam since last fall, like straight up singing it in our sleep. Searching for that sexy music video to accompany the track but nothing surfaced. Instead we sat with our D in our hand watching some horrible knockoff Rihanna video compilations where she goes through a number of actions that don’t coincide with the song, and her lips never move. I’ve fiended for this song. This song would be stuck in my head, everyday, for weeks. I’d cut into friends conversations, whisper into peoples ears and respond to waiter’s questions with “OOoooOOOOOOooooOOOOOhhhh, MONEY ON MAH MIND, MONEY, MONEY ON MAH MIND…” [Ed. Note: He’s not kidding.], basically freaking people the fuck out while slapping my hands around with the make it rain gestures.

Then.. this! Finally, a year later, they give it to us. Was it worth the wait? Fuck yeah it was. The on-point booty clapping and jacking that Rihanna demonstrates, whether it’s on a chair, in a puddle of water, or just on a floor–the answer is an easy “yes,” it was well worth the wait. The track alone stood the test of time. It is a jam, not it was a jam. This video is exactly what I wanted. Rihanna in some murky ass green water, made up like some sassy queen mermaid steam punk pirate hussy that runs a strip-cave, but only because she drops that ass-quake while guarding all that fresh booty in her underground grotto. All hail Rihanna, the barer of most ass and inner thigh skin. Some dark cosplay fantasy type steez for all you tweenksters to indulge in.

Now, I haven’t been to any strip joints lately, but I’d expect this shit to be off the hook. This track is made for the single mothers who are out there providing educations for they kids. RESPECT. RiRi’s boosting that economy and keeping those dollar bills circulating. The pacing of this track and that dark harpsichord carnival reverb/flanger shit in the background is the backing for a perfect strip routine or haunted house. Both are great places to spend time in the dark and get excited if you ask me.

Quick tip from Danger!Sound: Want to turn your next Halloween party into a strip club Halloween party? Invite a lot of girls who you know will dress up as sexy nurses, sexy cops, sexy–whatevers. Keep that ratio down. Make a playlist with two songs: “Pour it Up” by Rihanna followed by “Bandz a Make Her Dance” by Juicy J. Throw that shit on repeat, sit back and watch them benjis [Ed. Note: Washingtons, actually, but that’s not as amusing abbreviated.] rain all over your living room! Next day, sweep up the floors, and I guarantee you’ll find at least $20 in singles under your couch. Enjoy.

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